It’s THE RUSSIANS! … or maybe us…
I recently wrote about a real estate agent, Varushka, who the U.S. Government thinks is a spy. She’s renting a room from us for 12,400 rubles a month. She’s also very pretty.
She does seem to ask a lot of questions about Dick Cheney. I just figured she was curious about who ran the country before Obama was elected.
Anyway, this has caused problems. Either our government or the Russians are jamming our Internet now. We think our house is bugged too. A roofer showed up in a suit driving a Crown Vic and said he needed to look at our phones. I’m not stupid. I only let him look at our land-line. NOT our cells.
So we have no Internet at the house. Two vans with blacked out windows are sitting out front. The Chevy is obviously the Russians. They are always taking delivery of Marlboro’s and Vodka. Plus it has a direcTV Satellite on top and you can hear them watching the World Cup and blowing those stupid Vuvuzelas.
The other van has the American agents inside. It’s got spinners.
So I’m communicating with you from my office during lunch. And will continue to do so until the Russian Capitalist Pigs work a deal with the U.S.
In the meantime, Varushka (which by the way means “stranger” in Russian) is selling homes, paying her rent and racking up wild amounts for credit card dept like any good American.
I have to go interview an Associate producer candidate named, Fayina. Coincidentally, she’s from Russia. Says her name means “Free one.”
Right! A “free one”! And pigs might fly! Or, for my Russina friends, “А дело бывало — и коза волка съедала.”
It means, “A goat was eating a wolf.” That joke kills in Mosow… MR
At the vuvuzela comment, I spit up some of the pop tart I was eating.